Review: Assert

“Riotous Assembly”
(Malt Soda Recordings)

Is it just me or are UK punkers beginning to lag behind?  Sure, I’ll give them their credit for getting the whole ball rolling (or at least rolling in the right direction) but seriously, what have you done for me lately?  Assert’s new album is just another nail in the coffin for the whole scene, as far as I’m concerned.

“Riotous Assembly” is a guttural attack on the modern world, yeah, yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah.  What makes this thing so tired when compared to acts like Glassjaw or Agnostic Front is: a) this sounds like it was recorded over a speaker phone, b) lyrics like, “Liars, cheats, petty thieves, no place in our communities!” from “Hang ‘Em High” has zero relevance since EVERYONE is guilty of these things at certain times (except for Kelli Skye, who is perfect), c) the throbbing guitars sound the same in each of the seventeen tracks and d) the best cut on the album is a cover of Motorhead’s “Ace of Spades”.