Review: North Side Kings

North Side Kings
“A Family Affair”
(Thorp Records)

This is typical boneheaded hardcore written by the simple minded for the simple minded.  Musically, it is adept, but writing passable hardcore songs is about as difficult as taking a shit after scarfing down a whole bar of ex-lax.  Simplistic song structures and angry male cheerleader vocals dominate this record.  The music itself is hardly the issue however.  What I object to is the philosophy behind this derivative played out nonsense.  Song topics, on this exciting record, include getting revenge against the enemies of America (puke), how much they love money and who they’ll punish to get it (yawn), dying with honor (hurry up already), dying Easter eggs with honor (I wish) and lots of conflicting messages about pride and no pride and how they have pride but pride in others is wrong or gay or who knows what.

The band has one whole song dedicated to wanting to wipe out what amounts to every last Muslim in the Middle East.  They have a song that starts out with the lyrics “cash always rules” and then goes on to praise big knots of dough in ones pockets and how fantastic it is to have lots of money, money, money.  Then, in a stupefying philosophical twist, they condemn the U.S. government (or “homeland” as these media fed lackeys call it) for being “entombed in lies and greed.”  Then they say “the future’s plain to see,” but how this future can be plain to see when they’re evidently blind to their own inherently violent, gluttonous and avaricious world view is beyond me.

Do yourself a favor and pass this record by.  You’ll be better off listening to George W. speeches and downloading Ashcroft singing “Where the Eagle Soars.”