Review: Mindfield

(Life Force Records)

Ha, ha, ha.  Wait, I didn’t get that all the way out of my system…ha, ha ha!  These giggles just won’t go away.  You have absolutely got to get this record-it’s supposed to be scary Euro metal but instead it’s totally sissy metal.  With songs like “Destination 666”, you’d think these guys would be all Sataned out, but instead they squeal like Motley Crue, circa “Dr. Feelgood”.  A quick look at the lyrics from “666” shows not only Mindfield’s tenuous grasp of the English language, but also the “we’re so scary it’s not even funny” quality of the writing.  “No matter what you do or say/ You can cry or even pray/ Your soul is lost now in anyway/ You’ll never find the light of day/ Legions of black took it away/ So be with us forevermore!”

Ha, ha, ha.  Yeah, my soul gets lost in anyway all the time.  You know, if your lyrics suck, why even include them in the liner?  Why show the whole world (or the three people that actually own this) that you like to rhyme “way” with “way”?  But seriously, if you’re feeling depressed and you think a good chuckle will pick you up, you couldn’t do much better than this pseudo-metal malarkey.  Just listening to the wailing guitars and falsetto shrieks will have you rolling in the aisles.  Like this…ha, ha, ha.