Review: Liar’s Academy

Liar’s Academy
“Trading My Life”
(Equal Vision)

Oooookay, and this band got signed onto Equal Vision because why? Not to be a label fluffer, but when you’re used to getting apples and then get a banana, Confucious rears his big, pimply head and says, “wahh?” This is a radio rock EP, simply put. Bland, boring, bland and boring are the tracks. And I can stomache the musicians that this is (patheticly) trying to emulate: Wallflowers, um, Puddle of Mudd… you know, the filler stuff that get’s played on your local “cutting edge, rock your vagina!” radio station in between the White Stripes and that Queens of the Stone Age single.

And I haven’t even gotten to the lyrics. “Is anybody out there?” Those four words should draw the line between us (sane music lovers) and them (shitty music suppliers). I can’t do enough hand guestures and disgusted facial expressions to amplify my pure displeasure of listening to Liar’s Academy. It’s not *terrible* (terrible being setting a microphone next to a baby and then beating the child with a cat) but I’m not going to do the what I like to call the ‘RBO’, or ‘reviewer-bend-over’ and call Liar’s Academy’s release “solid” or “nice production” because any talentless sack of cocks, err, musicians can get good engineering and production these days. Oh great, now the chorus “it’s not me, it’s you” is playing, over and over and over. Can your radio hooks be any more fucking blatent? Blech.