Review: Kylie

(Capitol Records)

As I listened to “Fever” at work, I was overcome by the fear that it would somehow escape my headphones and let everyone in my own particular circle of corporate hell know exactly what I was listening to: cheesy dance music.  I guess song titles like “Burning Up,” “Give It To Me,” and, well, “Dancefloor” should have been a dead giveaway.  Apparently, though, Kylie is hugely popular in Europe and her native Australia, and that’s just plain frightening.  With its pulsing bass, late-’80s synthesizers, and heavy disco
influence, “Fever” gives the impression that its target audience is those two head-jerking club freaks played by Chris Kattan and Will Ferrell on Saturday Night Live.  Although Kylie’s voice isn’t half bad, and she is undeniably appealing (in fact, it’s hard to imagine anything more appealing than hearing her ask “now shall I remove my clothes?” on the title track), this album is an irredeemable stinker.  While it’s probably true that there’s a shortage of good music being produced today, there is more than enough out there to keep you from having to resort to this.