Review: Barnyard Ballers

Barnyard Ballers
““Nudie Bar Blues””
(Crazy Love Records)

This record makes me want to move to some stupid trucker town like California City or Oildale and marry Kid Rock’s deranged cousin with a prosthetic leg.  Then make some inbreed children to work at the local auto shop while I sit on my sweaty fat ass in the smoldering desert watching those Jesus freaks on the God channel.  I would live like trailer trash while donating my life savings in the hopes that God will have pity on my soul.  “Nudie Bar Blues” is for the porno site junkies that are 75% of America.  These guys are raunchy, dirty, country boys with hints of country and blue grass in the twangy guitars and hints of old school punk in the drums and accompanying guitar riffs.  The lead singer has a perfect voice for what these guys are trying to do.  He can make himself sound high, low, scratchy, and clear.  I think these guys go on stage and have a good old drunken time with a “yee-haw.”  In one instant classic “Mamma’s Breast” the singer so eloquently states that “…it’s creamy, rich, and dreamy and it comes from mamma’s breast.”  In another instant favorite, “Ugly Chicks,” the lyrics read “I guess that I’m the jealous type/ I like a girl that doesn’t wipe” and “we like ugly chick because they won’t run away.”  Hey all you red headed step children, this is right up your alley so grab a partner and get freaky!