{"id":9595,"date":"2014-02-27T06:12:31","date_gmt":"2014-02-27T06:12:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.modernfix.com.php72-4.lan3-1.websitetestlink.com\/uncategorized\/crom\/"},"modified":"2014-02-27T06:12:31","modified_gmt":"2014-02-27T06:12:31","slug":"crom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/modernfix.com\/music\/crom\/","title":{"rendered":"Review: Crom \u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"<h4><a href=\"http:\/\/www.modernfix.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/02\/crom.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-22218\" src=\"http:\/\/www.modernfix.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/02\/crom.jpg\" alt=\"crom\" width=\"300\" height=\"296\" title=\"\"><\/a><br \/>\nCrom<br \/>\n&#8220;\u0093The Cocaine Wars 1974-1989\u0094&#8221;<br \/>\n(Pessimiser Records)<\/h4>\n<p>Black-death-speed metal in arctic barbarian packaging. \u00a0On the cover is a half-naked warrior chick riding a polar bear and inside are renderings of our Vikingesque heroes and there\u0092s another nice sketch of one of them snorting lines of white powder off of an ancient dagger. \u00a0All this and more helps to make for some of the funnest schtick-metal you ever heard before you even get it in the CD player. \u00a0Holy Robert E. Howard! . . . \u00a0the songs (30 of them in 36 minutes) aren\u0092t bad either! \u00a0 A lot of \u0093where have I heard that riff before?\u0094 silliness and then total Slayer meets Spinal Tap at an SCA convention, punctuated by humorous bits of sampling and programming (even including a bit of Kraftwerk\u0092s Trans Europe Express!). \u00a0Haw, haw, haw! \u00a0This is the most brilliant piece of tounge-in-cheek metal I\u0092ve heard since Godheadsilo\u0092s \u0093Share the Fantasy\u0094 and Crom goes a hell of a lot further with the whole thing than they did (emphasis on the \u0093hell\u0094). \u00a0Shee-at. \u00a0I\u0092ll keep this one. \u00a0Cut the sleeves off your shirt and go rent River\u0092s Edge. \u00a0Crom Rulz!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Crom &#8220;\u0093The Cocaine Wars 1974-1989\u0094&#8221; (Pessimiser Records) Black-death-speed metal in arctic barbarian packaging. \u00a0On the cover is a half-naked warrior chick riding a polar bear and inside are renderings of our Vikingesque heroes and there\u0092s another nice sketch of one of them snorting lines of white powder off of an ancient dagger. \u00a0All this and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":22218,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,18],"tags":[1671,3589,5521],"blocksy_meta":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/modernfix.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9595"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/modernfix.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/modernfix.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/modernfix.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/modernfix.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9595"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/modernfix.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9595\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/modernfix.com\/wp-json\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/modernfix.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9595"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/modernfix.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9595"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/modernfix.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9595"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}