Review: Postal 2

POSTAL 2

Developer: Running With Scissors
Platform: PC

The first installment of this game caused all sorts of ruckus. Government officials bitched, the Postal system themselves tried to (unsuccessfully) sue the game. Why? Because the game attempts to push all the Un-PC buttons it can. It’s rude, crude and funny in a hick-mentality sort of way. (Ironically, you rednecks are one of your prime enemies in this game). Its sequel only went further to prove itself offensive.

The game is played in a painfully out-dated first-person-shooter mode. The AI is dull at best. There are excruciatingly long load times connecting the multiple city segments. There are no variations on game play whatsoever. Go here, do this, shoot the bad guys.

Is it worth playing? Sure. Gary Coleman is in this game. I mean, he’s literally a character in the game (his voice acting and everything). You can unzip your pants at anytime and get interesting responses from the characters. You can also pee on anything (including yourself when you are on fire, quite helpful). You smoke bowls of weed to get that “extra health” boost. Can take cats, and shove your shotgun up their butts and run around with a cat sticking off the end of your shotgun. You can find a rotten cow head that you can shoot that releases a “stink cloud” that will cause people to vomit and die. You get gonorrhea and your pee turns green and it hurts to pee. Your character says, “Fuck you” often. And you do battle with a giant phallic toy named “Krotchy”.

See where this is going? Along with a bunch of semi-offensive dialog (it takes a lot to offend me nowadays), there are enough dumb smiles to make it worth wading through the unsatisfying run and shoot missions.

There isn’t much to the overall “game”. Just a series of long load times and no-brainer shoot’em ups with Beavis and Butthead punch lines. Because fire is cool, and peeing on yourself to douse the flames is even cooler.