Review: Midget Handjob

Midget Handjob
““Midnight Snack Break at The Poodle Factory””
(Epitaph)

Do you remember those strange kids from high school?  The ones that would wear the same clothes day after day and would make weird noises while Ms. Johnson was explaining the math homework?  Well, they’re a band called Midget Handjob now, and while I don’t know about wearing the same clothes all the time, they are certainly still making weird noises.  Their sound is something like beat poetry mixed with the Butthole Surfers and early-Cake.  A sampling of frontman Keith Morris’ talking (he prefers to speak, rather than sing) reads like something Jack Kerouac would have written had he been on PCP-”giraffe skin upholstery-charred black Christmas tree-slaughtered lambs-Jewish hams-and it’s a pretty tasty set up…”.  You get the picture.  Morris is accompanied by background music that consists of, among other things, pots and pans, water and beer bottles, chainsaw blades, and plastic conduit.  The best part about “Midnight Snack Break at The Poodle Factory” is trying to guess which objects were used on which tracks.  While I’m sure some reviewer out there is going to hail this album as a groundbreaking, inventive success-it’s still just some weird guy talking over a bunch of different noises.  Who probably wears the same clothes every day.