Review: The Good Life

The Good Life
““Novena On A Nocturn””
(Better Looking Records)

I don’t know how to begin reviewing an album of this nature.  It’s like, okay, I had this ex-girlfriend and The Good Life sounds like a band she’d have liked.  She was really into The Cure, and every time a The Cure album was put on, tiny blood vessels in my furthest extremities like finger tips, toes, and nose would just simply explode. To this day because of all that The Cure I had to listen to, I have very little sensation in my fingers and my nose resembles a genetic hybrid of cauliflower and strawberries.  And it isn’t because of the drinking.  So what if I drank a liter of Ron Rio Rum per day.  So fucking what!  Am I right?  I mean, was that any reason for the stupid bitch to dump me?  Yeah, I had my problems, like obnoxious foot odor, chronic dandruff and vomiting every morning from the smell of food, usually toast or cereal, but I was a nice guy with a well meaning disposition, and she was a cunt and should have just put up with my shit because like hell if she’ll ever find anybody better than me.  I’m pleasantly sociable until after the third beer and harbor no insecurities over my penis size like so many other men who also happen to be genetically cursed with extraordinarily miniscule pricks!  Ahem.  That’s why I don’t really like The Good Life.  It reminds me of times with her, and don’t think I’m not over her. Because I am.  Christ, it’s been twenty two years since we broke up.  Do you really think I could still have a hang up after that long?  Yeah?  Well fuck you too sister!