Yawn. How can music so fast be so boring? I think the best analogy comes to us by way of Valencia, CA, and Magic Mountain. Take two rides, say Goliath, with its unreal twisting, turning, dropping, corkscrewing action and Superman, the park’s fastest ride. Goliath is plenty quick, but it’s the mind-numbing twists and turns and uncertainty about what’s around the next corner that makes you scream and rush back into line for more.
Superman, like The Boils, blasts you out of the gate at an incredible speed in a straight line, up the side of the track, then directly backs down to where you started. You can plainly see where you started and where you’re going and the ride is over almost as soon as it’s begun. Fun? Not really. The Boils are as straightforward as that waste of a coaster, blue collars flashing proudly from the gutter. The raucous guitars and gritty lyrics (a combo of beer, buddies, and generic socialist sentiments) never progress much beyond clichéd East Coast sing-along anthems. Don’t throw your time away on this attraction; wait in line for something with a little more brains. Like a merry-go-round or a really big speed bump.
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