Review: Out Cold & Voorhees

Out Cold & Voorhees
(Thorp Records)

Man, you people all know I get bitter when a band releases an album where all the songs sound the same.  I mean, what’s the point?  I’m not going to beat this dead horse anymore.  Still, the guys from Thorp Records have taken it one step further by releasing a split-album where both bands play what appears to be the exact same song eleven consecutive times.  Out Cold is an American hardcore band that begins each of its five tracks with a few raggedy guitar chords before a vocalist who took lessons from a Howitzer screams for a few minutes before ending the track in a burst of drum fire.

Voorhees is a UK hardcore band that begins each of its six tracks with a few raggedy guitar…hell, I can’t even do it.  I was just going to repeat the last sentence and hope that it would be funny but I can’t make myself do it.  First of all, I’m not sure it would have been funny.  Secondly, who’s got the time for repetition?  If you like thirty minutes of constantly harsh guitars, shrieking vocals, etc. then this one is for you.  You’re not one of those people are you?  You wouldn’t want to hear, “Do the head trip to fuck me up / Heart caved in, you fucked me up” set to the lovely tune of brackish power chords ad nauseam would you?  Hey, I’m talking to you!  In the red shit!  Answer me when I’m asking you a question, dammit!