I wish a black metal band would come out with a song that goes, “Worship the Devil, Worship the Devil, Worship the Devil!” over and over again. I think that would be sick. And it could be in a super screechy voice, just like all up in your face and wicked annoying. That would be rad.
Naglfar comes close to achieving this epoch of lameness, but doesn’t quite make the grade, as their lyrics are more along the lines of, “See the dawn of Satan’s rise” and “I call on Hell, arise from your dwell”, which lack the simplicity of my “worship the Devil” lick. Naglfar is fronted by Alanis Morissette look-alike Jens Ryden, who sounds like he’s singing over a CB radio half the time.
While Ryden isn’t assailing you with his yodeling you’ll be treated to the strains of the rest of Naglfar, who actually all look like Alanis Morissette, except for the drummer, who looks like the ugly Hanson brother. Musically, Naglfar actually has a little variety to their act, as several melodic elements creep into the work at odd times, keeping things interesting until Ryden starts squawking on the horn again. Maybe they could recruit Alanis to sing backing vocals on their next tour of Hell, when it arises from its dwell, and maybe she could play the bell, unless they’re on the beach and she finds a shell.
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